Social breaks.

I decided to take a small break from social media to focus on the next few months of activities ahead. I know the road ahead has great things and a few “embrace the suck” items that will test my peace.

So why take a break? Well. I had an “embrace the suck” moment this week and I failed miserably at keeping my cool, staying level headed and I blue screened. I was not happy with myself and I realize I have more work to do to achieve my inner zen. I’m hoping to get some ocean time soon and reflect on how I can achieve more strength.

I hope to still write and share my journey here as always.


Why you gotta be so mean?

Over the last few weeks I have been in a few encounters that have really challenged me to keep my mindfulness.   What I mean is that I have been in situations where I meet somebody or see somebody I know and have been completely brushed off.   Not a classic brush off, but a “nose” up i’m better than you behavior.    I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until it happened a few times and it wasn’t just with one individual it was a few different folks.    so.. I had to stop and really think that maybe i’m the problem, maybe i’m giving off a bad vibe that is translating into a mirror coming back to me..  I spent a few days after each encounter to think about what I said, how I came across and I finally closed that I am being normal, but I need to not take anothers reaction as a negative to me, vs. just their reality at that moment.  I don’t know what’s going on with them nor should I judge or translate the behavior.

So..  as I continue to get more mindful, here is one thing I can say..    Be Nice to others.   know how you come across.   don’t be mean or turn your nose up if another doesn’t meet your criteria for whatever..  just be nice..

  • I accept things that I can’t change.
  • I accept those around me for what & who they are.
  • I accept that I am still a student in being mindful and I continue to learn.
  • I accept that life is too short to let small stuff bother me and I let it go!


Laugh like there is no tomorrow

I can’t remember the last time that I had such a great weekend, from lumineers, moonraker, Christmas gift wrapping, shopping, infusion, etc..

However, one thing that has made this weekend even more than anything is the great laughter, I laughed so hard last night and it made me remember how good it is to laugh, to stop being so serious and just enjoy the experience as they come.

What else?   I’m still learning every day and while some learnings are more sporty than others, I will keep learning and grow!     HILLY

Search not, want not, seek not, being good with being present

Finding my happiness again.

I am a bit surprised at myself for having this blog to even write. I find myself not that happy recently with how things are going (work, life, finances, etc..) and I realize that I need to fix my outlook, my outward presence and definitely learn to love where I am at more than I am. I was thinking about going on a trip, starting a new hobby, joining a new social group and for me I think what I’m going to focus on is the “path to buying my house”. I know there is much I can do, plan and execute on just for the path to get there, so why not make this my focus. And.. with that find my happiness in the journey, not the end state, but rather how I get to the house. So where to start?

  • Less is More ! – it’s time to down size even more of what I have so that moving is easier and just focus on what I really need for my family. I really need to purge from the house so that there is no clutter, I mean there is not a lot of clutter right now, but I want to reduce even more.
  • Reduce my financial stress – with major changes ahead, daughter turned 18, house, etc.. I feel that if I can only work on my finances one day a week or twice a month I can reduce the stress that I put into my financial planning. Checking the account daily is great if you are super paranoid, however it is a drain on my system.
  • Surround myself with positive people – I own this and I know I can do this, I just needed a good reminder to look around and surround myself with positive people that help ZAPP me into action so we can feed off each other. I think I got into a routine slump that doesn’t help with finding happiness.. so it’s time to start.
  • Workout & Nutrients – I started with a great cleanse, it went well, my body loved it, but after a few holiday’s it was quick to scale back a little bit and I need to keep strong on my routine. When I’m in a routine for workout & health I feel spectacular.

Now I’m off to travel for a few days and of course I packed my workout bands, nutrients, and planning to focus on my attitude to get to more positivity & happiness. Here’s to what I learn on this next journey ahead.


TIME – the one thing that matters

I rewrote this intro sentence like 10 times as I didn’t want to start this post on a negative note, but I also wanted to ensure that I kept pure to me and who I am.   so..  I’ll just start..  Time is important, giving it, consuming it, thinking about it, time is the real gift from another and what you can give of yourself.    I was recently asked to give time for something that I just couldn’t and I have to protect not just my time but my heart/body/soul.   Not all requests for time get a “YES”!   My compass reminds me of what is important, what my north star is, I know I’m not perfect, but i’m also not a sponge to absorb others self fulfilling fdbk about themselves that needs to be said out loud.  Anyways.. so why talk about time?   well recently I have had less than normal, busy time at work and just getting myself to a place of peace and center.

As I sit here at the beach, hearing the waves crashing, wind blowing and < 50 degree weather I remind myself that not all journeys are meant to have self discovery, then I realize that my comment for myself is “TIME”.   Spend it wisely.  Invest your time in the activities that will help you grow, stay true to yourself and also to those that will invest back in you.

Now time to fuel up for a big surf morning tomorrow..  Hopefully the wind stops, waves are perfect and the water keeps me grounded.     Surf ON!


Unpacking sucks!

You know the feeling when you are moving into a new home and you start to unpack your boxes.  You try to figure out where everything goes, how will use it, when will you use it, will you ever use it again?   You go one box at a time and it feels daunting and makes you want to take breaks as you are going to ensure you are breathing, staying fed and also getting ready for whatever is ahead (work, play, etc..) .     Nothing like opening a box you forgot you packed of old mementos, crazy one off items, and memories that you forgot you had.   Getting back to unpacking, you open your pantry, drawers, cabinets and start to put things away (of course after cleaning the shelves, lining them, etc..), you take a moment to look at how the dishes all fit nicely in place, how there’s a pattern to it all and for that very moment it all makes sense, even though it’s just unpacking you have a mental breakthrough, you start to get it.    You stop, breathe and say “wow” so that’s what it is, that’s why it all fits, that’s why I kept those items.    So.. am I moving?  Nope (not yet), but what is the deal w/ this unpacking theme then?

Well.    Your brain & heart are just like a home, I have recently unpacked more of my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts and had a few “wow” moments as I was going through it.  I didn’t expect to have this “unpacking” happen, but I’m certainly glad now that I did.   I appreciate the catalyst to this move more than that person knows, but I’m sure they will.    So now that I start to understand the unpacking I can start to put the pieces in place to reflect, understand and grow as I move forward.

Would I like to share out my flow charts of feelings, experiences that make me who I am?   Yes, but not really, it’s who I am and is very close to my chest.   So..  yah..

Thank you.     HILLY

Look Inside. remember your North Star

This last week I was asked for my latest tattoo and I quickly said my compass rose.   Then I took a moment to reflect on why I got this tattoo and why it is important to me.  I spent many years seeing things that would challenge me on my values, my perspectives and moral compass.  I always took a breath and focused on what I know is right for my me, my family and for what I’m going through.    I know it hurt a lot to go through these transitions, but it was necessary to get here today.    Without an epic journey, life would not be the same (epic), it would be sterile, non feeling, lame, etc..  so I think my journey will be one to capture for a great novel, a great journey that are made for paper books.

Let’s shift.   Onto peace inside.   Knowing your north star is important, it helps when you feel beat down, weak, full of emotion to remember what you stand for, what it is that propels you into the morning so you can crush your next day.  I have to say that knowing my internal peace remains a challenge for me, making sure I remember how to center and get back to “60” is so important for me.   I have so much energy, passion, love and feelings that I have to be very aware of how that exits my body.   I was reminded this week of this very thing and while it was a good reminder, I had to take a moment and really think about how am I focused on hearing my internal peace, how am I knowing when I am centered so I can achieve and show up the way I want to.   I wonder how people can go their whole life without knowing how to center.. I just can’t imagine, but that’s not my quest to solve. Mine is right here, right now, right in front of me.    Making sure that I live a life of “Center” and that I know what I stand for.

Shift again?  sure why not..  My mind is shifting all over the place.   last week I was out at the beach and I one regret is that I didn’t just let GO and really feel the experience for what it was worth.. Meaning listening to the waves, walking in the sand, watching the waves come in..   I do regret not bringing my surfboard as well, but I”ll fix that.   getting back.. I didn’t  RELAX and really be there and for that I know I need to try it again.   I need to get back to CENTER, but also pull from 120 back to 60 to see how it positively impacts my day to day, my influence and my overall well being.  (welcome to my personal mega goal).

Shift again?   yup..    2017 was to be a major milestone year and it is not even finished yet.  I am looking forward to all the milestones, what it will bring and I need to be better about celebrating them with the right activity to ensure that I remember what an epic journey this has been.    Here’s to the next few months of major milestones and keeping myself grounded as I proceed forward through them.    #Onward

That’s it for this post, tonight, etc..   I hope you find your peace, love your journey and who knows what the future will hold so keep breathing, be resilient and make sure you take care of your brain, heart, soul, health, peace, karma, faith, etc..      I love you!


Center.   Returning to it. 

I found myself this week with down from too many inputs and negativity around me.  It’s hard to not get wrapped up in the crap that comes at you but yet it happens.    I had to take a step and decided to take a FB break for awhile and just focus on what I need and want.   But not just a selfish quest but one of returning to center, returning to 40 not 120 mph so that I can be a leader for my kids.    Yah I fall down but sure as shtt I get up and kick some butt.   

Today I feel it was all about getting up! Getting both feet under me and then prepare to find center.    I’m glad I’m not done learning but dang it hurts when you grow.  Kinda like a monster workout.      I was pleasantly surprised I’m down 9lbs in the last month (not sure how that happened).   Hopefully that trend continues.   :).   

This can’t all be wha wha.   So I’ll shift.  I’m stoked my kids are all amazing humans , I have my key friends around me that I love and I’m stoked about the next 6 years preparing for the next big chapter.     

Do Good, It Matters!

I think this title does it’s own justice.   Do Good, It Matters!.   I don’t care where you are in your life, economic status, life status, etc..  do good.   be nice, be kind, forgive and look for the positive in everything.    It does matter.  If you have a clear conscience it matters.  You will live longer, happier and just be at peace.

Do Good, It Matters!