Loosing your way & coming back home.

Over the last year it’s been a real challenge, I’ve felt like I lost my way, lost the vision of where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be happy.   I found myself in a place that I was not happy and doing nothing about fixing it.  I was just coping with everything vs. tackling the challenges ahead of me and pushing forward.   I had challenges with my heart (again), got injured (ribs) and failed at another relationship (missed expectations).   All of this pushed me down pretty hard, the pain was brutal (rib pain is no joke – trust me), my heart actually faired really well during this entire process.   I learned a lot about muscle structure, referral pain & how important my core is.   I spent countless apts at the dr, chiro, acupuncture, PT and what really has made the biggest improvement is my relationship with God & my mom.   My mom and I made our bond the best it’s been in my life, we talked daily, she had already gone through all of my challenges, she knew what to take, how the pain can mess with your brain (anxiety) and how to tackle it.   She provided encouragement, unconditional love and  another vantage point to what was happening.  She helped me push harder on getting healthy, eating better & focus on God.   During this time I prayed a few times a day if not more, my dad was a great coach for this and we bonded over a morning podcast called “the first fifteen” focused on a daily devotional with both scripture & meditation on the words.  I have found great peace and renewed love for God during these times.   My mom provided “our daily bread” which is a daily read on scripture & good reflection.  She ordered me my subscription and I read that during breakfast daily.    Some days these readings don’t resonate a lot and some days they hit the core of something I’m wrestling with.  

Now to shift back to physical, I took 3 months off of all exercise and just stopped eating, lost a ton of weight, but also lost a lot of muscle and strength.   Over the last 4 months I have been working fiercely to get back to mega-health, from daily bike rides, daily walks, physical therapy, stretching & lifting.    While the soreness continues the pain is almost gone (thank you God) and now I feel like I’m resolving a lot of physical neglect for the last 20 years.   I have been going like 100MPH for so many years my body has finally said, “it’s time to rebuild your body from the core out”.   I am very thankful of acupuncture for all the healing, the meditation and the reflection on what is important.    I highly encourage this if you have not done this.      I am now ready to hit the water again (SUP & kayak) and I think my pace will be different, more relaxing and less cluttery in the who, what, how, when…   but I am returning and I will be stronger than ever and I will keep my peace in check.  

As I reflect on this time I am thankful for all that happened and the process I’m going through.. Without it I would have not found my way back home to God, I would not have spent so much time with my mom on this and connected with her so deeply.      I miss you Mom, I know you are in heaven with Jesus now and looking over me as I continue this path forward..   

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