Price of happiness

I know it’s been a while since I last posted, therefore this may take a few to read.   I have been busy with work, life & finding my center that it has been a ride.   So where to start…   well, let’s start with Monday this week.   I’m headed to Nut Tree in the morning to finish my last Executive Coaching Session.  Over the last 12 months with my coach I have learned a lot, reflected much, defined my blindspots and worked on this actively to achieve success.   I finally understand the thing that has driven me to so hard for success, but yet in the last 5 years has held me back from pure happiness.   What is it?  well.  that’s a long conversation best had over a craft beer & pub grub.    Do I think I’m on my way to greater success?  yes, I do!   I believe that the future ahead is even brighter than the past.    I honestly feel that I should really write the book that I started 15 years ago and now I have had so many diverse life activities that I should really get back to writing it and make it something that lives on.

How’s the water lately?   Great question.   I went out two weeks back, it was good (Lake Clementine) and the water was not as cold as I expected it to be.   It felt good to get wet.   Now I am setting my sights back on getting into the ocean for some longboard surfing.   I know the shark reports keep climbing, but it’s so low of odds, I think I’d win the lottery first than getting shanked by a shark.

Let’s get in deeper .. shall we?    This last few months has been a beast for me.   Work pressure is up, financial pressure is rearing up, missing my two oldest and interacting with them daily.  I have had many hours of deep thoughts of the past to reconcile my feelings, especially on my prior marriages and why what happened, happened.   I am more centered that I have been in my life and the time alone has brought me much peace along with self realizations to help reconcile the pain, hurt, distrust and emotions.   All of these self realizations help with the constant attacks from the past, feelings from the current and knowing who I am to stand the battle.

Let’s talk about what I am grateful for:

  • My kids, my family, my parents, my friends, my new friends, my co -workers, fellow travelers on this life path I’m on.
  • The water and it’s healing affects on me.  from the ocean, lakes, pool..   just being at one with the water.
  • I’m happy for lifes experiences that have made me stronger, more flexible, and more patient.

I have heard many times the last few years, that It’s crazy the amount of stuff I have gone thru and I’m still positive.  I agree.   It’s been a sh&& show at times, but I am grateful for being raised by awesome parents that have helped me stay to course on being me, being confident in who I am and not letting others kick me down.  I have made some interesting decisions the last couple of years as I navigated these new waters and some of them I’m not proud of myself for, but it was part of the growing, learning & moving forward that I needed to do, which has taken me a long time to come to terms with this very thing..   If you don’t feel pain, then you aren’t growing.  If you don’t stand up for yourself then you get caught in the same path that you have been on before.   Pain = Grow = Moving forward!

So what is the price of happiness?   Being bullish on who you are, what you want and be true to your heart.   Recently I read the book 10% Happier, thank you to KBur for the recommendation.  It was a great audio book and I highly recommend taking the 8+ hours to listen to it.  I have read a # of meditation books and this is in the top of the list as it brings together a lot of the books I have already read and the author does a great job of giving his insight as he went through his journey.  What I learned from this book is what i call back to basics, monitoring your breathing, know that your thoughts will pass quickly, therefore don’t give into thoughts vs. just recognizing that they are happening.   Just because you feel anger, sadness, etc.. it does not mean that is who you are.   I.e. Don’t let your struggle become your identity.     Another realization is that for a bit i was doing just this, everything that I talked about, worked on, etc.. was all about my struggle vs. living.  I am past that period of time now and can see better that it ate me up, it made me a different person, one that I am not happy about.   But I understand that now.   So..  I move forward.  I keep focused on my family, my health, my work and building strong friendships.

 

 

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